Articles on this Page
- 07/13/17--09:38: _Council Forum - Eve...
- 07/14/17--08:14: _Don't Mess With Bic...
- 07/18/17--11:40: _Woman Has Psychotic...
- 07/24/17--07:19: _Litter Bro's
- 07/26/17--09:29: _Culture Shock In Ne...
- 07/30/17--11:39: _A Little Bit About ...
- 08/22/17--19:27: _The Fiction Issue
- 08/26/17--10:34: _Our City Council El...
- 08/29/17--07:38: _Repeat: Don't Drive...
- 08/30/17--18:13: _Getting Busy - 13 S...
- 09/01/17--07:40: _CaribBeing Founder ...
- 09/01/17--09:24: _Flatbush Zombie Hou...
- 09/03/17--19:41: _Talk About Overtime...
- 09/04/17--06:49: _Lefferts Echo Ready...
- 09/03/17--19:31: _Flatbush Market - Y...
- 09/08/17--15:26: _Looking Good, Risbo
- 09/08/17--15:49: _More Big Buildings ...
- 09/11/17--07:38: _You Want Landmarkin...
- 09/11/17--19:45: _It's Simple. Vote f...
- 09/12/17--19:26: _Douchebag Wins Demo...
- 07/13/17--09:38: Council Forum - Everyone In One Place! Saturday
- 07/14/17--08:14: Don't Mess With Bicycle "Rough" Riders
- 07/24/17--07:19: Litter Bro's
- 07/26/17--09:29: Culture Shock In New England
- 07/30/17--11:39: A Little Bit About A Lot Of Things
- 08/22/17--19:27: The Fiction Issue
- 08/26/17--10:34: Our City Council Election Draws Nigh
- 08/29/17--07:38: Repeat: Don't Drive Sunday and Monday
- Grand Army Plaza, to
- Flatbush Avenue
- Between Grand Army Plaza and Empire Boulevard, to
- Empire Boulevard
- Between Flatbush Avenue and Nostrand Avenue, to
- Nostrand Avenue
- Between Empire Boulevard and Rutland Road, to
- Eastern Parkway
- Between Buffalo Avenue and Grand Army Plaza,
- 08/30/17--18:13: Getting Busy - 13 Shopping Days Left For City Council
- 09/01/17--07:40: CaribBeing Founder in the News
- 09/01/17--09:24: Flatbush Zombie House Opening
- 09/03/17--19:41: Talk About Overtime and Overkill
- 09/04/17--06:49: Lefferts Echo Ready For Perusal
- 09/03/17--19:31: Flatbush Market - You'll Always Be Suzie Farm To Me
- 09/08/17--15:26: Looking Good, Risbo
- 09/08/17--15:49: More Big Buildings For the Neighborhood
- 09/11/17--07:38: You Want Landmarking? Get Busy. This Thursday!
- 09/11/17--19:45: It's Simple. Vote for Brian Cunningham.
- 09/12/17--19:26: Douchebag Wins Democratic Nod - Again
Shooting on Parkside near Parade Grounds. Seriously wounded but not dead. The headline from DNAInfo caught my eye though.
2 Men in Car Shot by Cyclists Near Prospect Park, NYPD Says
The Q was called out for tastelessness in regards to his recent post about gang violence. And while I can take the criticism I just wanted to point out that it was intended as sarcasm. This time I'll just straight up tell you how I feel about the media's reporting of criminal behavior.
So you'll recognize this corner at Beekman, home to the long dormant Subway Hoagie Shoppe.
|photo: Steven Rex Brown for Daily News|
A woman has an episode of some kind - the result of what we do not know - and the headline from the Daily News reads:
Topless woman threatens to jump from Brooklyn building’s window before cops carry her off on stretcher
The Q grew up in a college town, and while frat boys have a deserved reputation for doing beer bong hits with grain alcohol and party rape (yes, an unfortunate term that succinctly defines the problem), we knew the frats to be fairly tidy, a small concession to my neighborhood given the boisterous all-night insanity. If I knew what chapter this was, if in fact it was a fraternity, I'd be shaming the hell out of them right now. Sigma Nu-isance if you ask me.
Animal House indeed.
Lest I lose you, dear reader, for going away and astray, here's the latest on the psycho squirrel of Prospect Park and also in neighborhood news the scaffolding on Lincoln Road has finally come down from the Tom Anderson building - after nearly 4 long years. A certain prophetic gentleman whom I've tagged Nostrandamus has noted the bizarrely institutional look to the lobby of the Flatbush entrance, leading us to wonder if half the building might end up being used to house homeless folks? Were it to be so, the term "poor door" would be very much apt. Now on to the middle-aged musing...
It happens every year, with alarming regularity now. 12 years n a row to be precise. The Q pulls up stakes and heads for the hills of Western Massachusetts, to the home of the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art (MASS MoCA), now the single biggest museum in the country having nearly doubled in size this past year alone. It's a remarkable place, full of twists and turns and surprises at every twist and turn. Most all exhibits (save the Sol LeWitt) switch-out each year, so it's never the same. I'm ostensibly working for these two weeks, though my job seems constantly shifting and now that I'm Social Media voice I find that I'm stuck in a persona of my own making, a voice much more optimistic and utopian than the one I betray here, so I'm never entirely comfortable even in the acres of air conditioning. Such are the angsty travails of the middle-aged, middle-class, liberal arts educated white man left-leaning "cool" dad. I'd like to think I'm archetypical rather than stereotypical, and that my sense of humor distances myself from the crowd, but even my sense of humor was honed in the same DLetterman/SSilverman/LCK/LDavid/Coco stew as the rest of them, so truly there's nothing original about me at this point, not even the dogged Doubting Thomas Devil's Advocate (DTDA) air of superiority that permeates every breathing thought. I could just off myself now and save the world another mansplainer, but I want to stick around and see how this Trump thing plays out and I really do love hanging out with the family and traveling and watching the world through kids' eyes and helping the occasional fellow drunk get back on his feet. That's not to say I'm depressed. Quite the opposite. Know thyself, and you might just save yourself, since acceptance is the key, and ice cream alone is worth the price of admission to this sorry catastrophe we call modernity.
As I was saying it happens to me every damn year, all through my 40's. As soon as I leave the Bronx, and this time it was just me with the girls heading through lyme-riddled Connecticut, stopping off at friends for a dip in a refreshing private pool the comfort of which most New Yorkers will never enjoy, then on to the Berkshire hills and a bit of soft-serve from one of those ma & pa ice cream and fried clams places that stink up every northeastern town worth its Main Street and Village Green. Why clams and lobster roll anyway? We're four hours from the ocean and sorry folks it's comin' outa the freezer in a bag. Soft serve, that genuinely innovative product that launched a thousand Mr. Softy's, is a true economic leveler, as only the haughtiest of the haughty of gourmands (or lactose intolerant) could refuse its tongue-chilling goodness next to godliness. Like at interstate rest areas, the rich and poor find themselves cone-to-cone with one another, odd benchfellows to be sure, and of every political and philosophic bent to boot. Preppies and yokels, Trumpers and Bern-feelers, architects and grease monkeys, meth-heads and potheads, the Farmer and Cowman CAN be friends, and black and white rest in equal proportion and integrated on a wafer cone in a twisty confection. Not racial black and white of course - there are precious few folks of African descent here. There is absolutely no reason why one SHOULD mix vanilla and chocolate on a cone anyway - it's like mixing coke with mr. pibb - because you really can't distinguish the flavors when they're mixed up that way, but it looks cool and you suspend disbelief even as your licking something neither chocolate nor vanilla but rather Chilla, as my girls and I call it.
Out here in rural America, even BLUE state rural America, you're once again reminded that the country is WAY white and WAY un-NYC, or as Todd from Bovina likes to say "I'd rather take a beating than spend an hour in New York," and btw he lives just three hours away. When you talk to people out here, up here, down there, you start to remember that most of America doesn't relate to the multi-culti progressive zeitgeist nor necessarily have much interest at all in the ways of the nation beyond immediate needs and concerns. Oh, people get worked up like they always have, but until the policies of State hit home, it's just so much hot air. It has always been thus - politics is always local, except on the Huffington Post (or as I like to call it "The Hourly Outrage," since that's about how often they update their absurdly huge headline). Since the founding of the Republic there's always been a sizable contingent that despises centralized national authority and can't fathom why they must pay for things they don't need out of their hard-earned (and sometimes not-so-hard-earned) dollars. Trust me you needn't argue against that line of thinking; I'm with you. It's just not hard to imagine the other side, that's all, when you're away from the dense urban group-think.
Now, as a card-carrying liberal-arts-cool-dad I wish that rural America DID care more about leveling the playing field not just at home but worldwide, since for some reason it was ingrained in me that to be a good citizen of the earth one must worry about famine across the sea and justice for folks who don't look or sound like me. But every once in awhile I'm reminded that the primary concern of every species is procreation and rearing of young, and once fed and clothed and sheltered you could probably be forgiven for thinking the rest is none of your goddamn business. This is a morally bereft legitimate way of looking at the world, and it's one of the reasons I'm surprised that DIY Libertarianism hasn't become a more major political force on its own, rather than being usurped by the GOP as part of its Confederacy of Dunces. To the "farmer stock" of my grandparents' era it wasn't even really an option to imagine otherwise; like the Ingalls fambly you set out on your own and worked hard and did with what you had. In a dire emergency you availed yourself of good ol' Christian charity. I recall my grandfather, a Republican from IL (which, I might add proudly was true of our greatest President) saying that the worst business that government can be in is the charity business, because it creates an unholy alliance between a political party and an underclass, one that can be manipulated at will by the wielding of carrots and sticks. I cede that very point to the man, though his world was pretty small and couldn't fathom the true depravity of a post-slavery post-industrial hyper-capitalist hyper-specialized mostly-urbanized mostly-demoralized society of wildly unequals.
From the Department of Duh it's worth remembering that the Wars and Great Depression changed America, and there was finally a political will to take action, BIG action, on a national scale, and to pay for it with taxes. Suddenly a wildly rich country, the U.S.A. could really pay for stuff like massive infrastructure projects and more generous welfare and even single payer healthcare for the poor and old, and progressives could now imagine a country with a solid judicial that could try to spread things more evenly and take care of its most vulnerable, and best of all (here's where my liberal heart turns cynical) create a reliable base of support for its ideology. I would argue that it was Democrats, not Republicans, who worked hardest to manipulate the electorate to their advantage. They had the brains and the media on their side, and from JFK to the assassination of Bobby and Martin it looked like nothing could stop them. The youth were digging it, some major churches were on board, the Vietnam War didn't help the conservative anti-commie cause, and Medicare and Medicaid helped ensure a base of support for progressive politics into the foreseeable future. And then...bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. An over-reach by the Left? Too much talk of revolution? Or just plain ol' fear striking the heart of the breadbasket? The country's lurch to the right started with Nixon and but for a brief hiccup caused by his paranoia, the rightward march held steady through the late '80s. The wars of these years set the stage for a new all-out negative political terrain that frankly wasn't that different from the old except in its 24-7 intensity. The energy and urgency on the Left had dissipated and the right was now promising something equal in sway to entitlements - tax cuts, unpaid for of course and with dramatic consequences to the national budget and the poor and to the rates of incarceration particularly against young men who were NEVER gonna vote for Republicans anyway.
And really when it gets down to it...aren't tax cuts and health care both entitlements, to appease the two bases? Were it not for those pesky problems of racial, ethnic and religious discrimination, well, it wouldn't be hard to fathom the need to argue those philosophic questions with civility and humility. We're being thrown bones really, to keep us in line, and it works astoundingly well for the wealthy who can hardly contain their glee when the revolution is put off for another generation.
The Trump phenomenon feels personal because that's how it's sold. You, dear liberal, are the enemy, and the current administration won't let you forget it. Your politics are elite and patronizing. You claim moral high-ground even as you take care of your own just as fiercely as any right-winger. You just do it while voicing the dying language of the Left, though there's not much revolution left in you. When you see people truly taking to the streets - whether Occupiers or Black Lives Matter or even the fiercest Bernie Bros, you feel a bit of glee but you don't join in. You're staring at your phone hoping things will go your way in the next news cycle, acknowledging but not participating, secretly hoping that things don't get TOO out of hand, because, after all, at your core, you are a Homo Sapien, a creature like any creature, primarily concerned with pro-creation, the procurement of food and shelter, and the safety and nurturing of your young. They might label you Entitled, and you might feel a pang of regret, but somewhere in your very skeleton your DNA is cheering.
You are a hairless ape with aspirations of grandeur. You are a hairy lizard making decisions based on fear. You are a hilarious mistake of evolution that might just extinguish your lineage in pursuit of what exactly? Art? Comfort? Power?
You are pathetic. And I love you, just as I'm pathetic and love myself to the degree I don't off myself, take pleasure in my young, and seek to illuminate not just my own struggle but the neighborhood, city, country and planet. There. That's all it is, dimly illuminated, with no coherent meaning or spiritual enlightenment to be gained, though you and I will vainly try like Sisyphus to achieve something, and even the greatest of you will descend like Icarus after touching the sun just enough to write a poem or song about it. And you might get a statue and a paragraph on the world wide digital magazine under History of the Human Race, but that sun will ultimately burn out your eyes and scorch your home and those wings were cheap plastic anyway.
To paraphrase this Post, as the Great Lorax once sayeth, UNLESS...
The scaffolding came down on Lincoln Road and you'd think God had parted the Red Sea, what with the Hall Lay Lou Yah that erupted on the social media. It's meaningful to have a sidewalk back in the hands of the people, and folks are going to need some time to heal before embracing this new slice of gentrifier gold. (right next to park, right on top of the train station, next to the day care, and soon another gourmet grocery on its first floor, swank wine store around the corner, coffee and juice shops and cocktail lounges and micro-brews...hard to imagine just a decade back the nabe was thrilled just to have a single homey coffee and pastries place known as K-Dog.
Speaking of bagels (Nagle's is also right across the street), did you see that Bergen Bagels is coming to the NE corner of Maple and Flatbush? Google is no longer satisfied to provide current and historical information. It is now a fortune teller, and has Bergen Bagels on Google Maps even before it opens. Don't believe me, map it out yourself. Bergen has the real deal NY bagels and fixins you've come to expect.
An Italian place of some renown on Nostrand? It don't take Nostrandamus to predict anymore, just your handy cellular device. God knows blogs are hardly the place for breaking news. The soon-to-open Tiki Bar and rotisserie Risbo on the lower 'Bush, something or other by the Parkside Pizza folks on the NW corner of Westbury and Flattie Bush, record store, wine stores you name it. Can't keep up really, and who needs to when they come so fast and furious, with fairly predictable pickins'? And yet at least a dozen prime locations sit vacant along the 'Bush, just waiting for the "right" business at the right price.
Speaking of Nostrandamus, a certain prognosticator took a look at the entrance to the new building on Lincoln's OTHER entrance on Flatbush and noted the institutional look to the lobby. Could this be a separately configured building to house, say, homeless folks or social needs population? The City can set up these sorts of shelters wherever it wants with just a minimum of warning, like on Crown and Rogers. We shall see, friends, we shall see. And please, if it does come to pass, don't pre-judge. Folks of all stripes need a place to hang their hats and charge their cellulars.
Has it really been weeks since the Q's last missive? Typically I leave a "Gone Fishin'" post and thought to do so again but figured nah surely there'll be plenty to write about while working at MASS MoCA for a residency and then vacationing with the fam at the Corner House in southern Vermont and now visiting generous friends at Martha's Vineyard. For sake of a great lady's privacy I won't mention the fact that Mrs Q took a random Sunday yoga class here on "the Vineyard" that was attended by a certain woman of tremendous renown who came with three of her girlfriends and was afterwards brisked away by three overly dressed white men driving a spit-shine clean SUV that had been parked diagonally over three parking places and left idling throughout the hour-and-a-half class. The Q saw this particular famous spouse leaving the Yoga Barn and basically broke down in tears, but luckily only the overly dressed guys saw me, and rightly so as it's their job to take note of everything out of the ordinary, like a schlubby middle-aged guy weeping in a rented Chevy Malibu with Kentucky plates. Why Kentucky? Luck of the draw, but damned if everyone with even an aunt from Louisville thinks they've been given license to strike up a conversation. Ha! License. Plates.
So instead of blogging I've been reading, you know, books. And let me tell you if you hadn't heard - books are awesome, and way more rewarding to read than blogs. With that in mind, I decided to usher out the season with the first ever Q at Parkside "Fiction Issue." Out of the many, many entries I chose a terrific story by an up-and-comer named t.t. cummings. Okay, I'll admit it, that's a nom de plume. This is his first effort at fiction in about 30 years, so I guess you could call it a debut. It's called...
Did you see it? Twice in two days pay-to-play (some-do-say) vanity rag Kings County Politics runs pieces on the two front-running challengers in our 40th District City Council race. And what do they focus on? Matching funds. Pia Raymond got them in the last round; Brian Cunningham didn't. Look for Brian to get his 6-1 matching funds at the next round, having some of his gifts kicked back not for anything truly improper - since the City takes its matching payments seriously even a small error in donor addresses or credit card authorizations can make it hard to pass on first submission. It's highly unlikely that Cunningham will miss the next batch and qualify for more than $100,000 in public funds. Will it be too late to help? Probably not, but Raymond's filing is no death blow.
What is KCP? Ask your favourite political insider or elected official - you take out ads on the site, you get puff-ball treatment and vanity interviews. The Q's heard it time and again, though even if it weren't true, the "Brooklyn Lawmakers On the Move" feature is embarrassing, as if your politicians were super-heroes for doing their job. Still, there are very few competitors. But that actually makes KCP outsize in its influence. Which is, to quote our commander in chief, sad.
First the KCP puff-blog writes this basically calling Pia the front-runner on $$ alone; then publishes this knocking Brian's first-round miss on the matching funds, which frankly come in much too late to help ANYbody in the do-or-die primary fight. Generally speaking KCP has published p.r. friendly pieces about each of the candidates, and I encourage you to check out their interviews with Raymond, Cunningham, Berkley and Eugene. But given the scant coverage of these sorts of crucial local elections, a single story can convince voters that only one candidate has a chance to beat the incumbent Eugene. Nothing could be further from the facts. BC is running a great door-to-door campaign, and doesn't need the matching funds to continue fighting hard for the all-important votes, though he'll get them soon enough. And now, some pictures:
|Brian Cunningham - the Q salutes you|
|Mathieu "51st State" Eugene (wtf up w/that picture?)|
|Cool lady Pia Raymond. Might not make it in September though.|
Brian will be on the ballot in November. On the Reform line. Meaning even if the decade-long-serving dud Mathieu Eugene wins the primary seeking to extend his do-nothing brand of leadership (he's a "doctor" - perhaps his thing is to "do no harm?") we have a chance to vote him out in a one-on-one against him with a solid candidate with a record of policy experience and grass roots connections and political savvy.
Is Brian Cunningham a better candidate than the affable, smart but maybe too reserved Pia Raymond? I feel I have a good sense of who they are and what they stand for. And honestly I would be happy to vote for either over our current absentee-councilperson. In the end, the Q must go with his considerable gut - Brian strikes me as in it to win it, ready for the Big Leagues, honest and capable. I think he'll grow with the job, he's been a political operator for years, and I think it's meaningful that he had the good sense to find a spot on a third party line as a hedge against the big field of candidates vying for the primary nod.
Jen Berkley is also on the ballot, and while I think she does great work on housing within the community, I can't in good conscience, with where we are as a city and country, vote for the relative newcomer to the nabe who has few deep ties to the African-American and Caribbean-American community that Lefferts has long been. Okay, okay, why bullshit. You count on the Q for nothing if not bluntness. She's a white lady (sic). The time is not right for white ladies (even less so for white dudes) especially short-timers to run for positions representing a largely black quickly gentrifying district. She has a lot to offer and we look forward to her work on behalf of renters everywhere. (FYI she pretty much just unloaded on my Facebook. Another reason to question her candidacy - not because it was me, but because unloading on people is reminiscent of a certain White Dude running the country.
As we head into the final laps of the Primary Race, I hope y'all will read up on the candidates, sent their campaigns an email, check out their websites, find out where they'll be so you can talk in the flesh. It's time to bone up!
If you have a parking spot - stay put. If you were thinking of tooling around central Brooklyn, forget it. Many have driven on Labor Day Weekend, never to be seen again. They're somewhere in Paramus, the black hole of the metropolitan region, desperately seeking their way back home.
If you need specifics, here they are:
J'Ouvert and West Indian Day Parade Street Closures on
to his webpage. The Q doesn't want to try to convince you if you're already on Pia Raymond's team - I get it and can appreciate your opinion. However, if you're considering voting for the miserable incumbent Mathieu Eugene or the bizarrely hotheaded under-prepared recent-arrival Jen Berkley, then I beg you to talk to your neighbors and friends and see if they agree with your analysis. Cause frankly I just don't see the logic.
If you're with Cunningham and wondering how to help him win, it's really pretty simple. Convince 5 or better yet 10 people you know to vote for him. That's it. If you're feeling frisky volunteer for the campaign. In particular, they'd like to see a lot of people out on election day, passing out flyers near but not too near the polls, making it clear that he really does stand a chance. Eugene will have a couple big union machines out doing the same, basically people told to do it. But with 13 endorsements and counting, Brian's showing real strength.
The Q has sounded off on the most extraordinary ineptness of your City Councilperson for nearly 8 years now. I simply don't know how to make it any plainer! If you want a neighborhood leader, and responsive city representative, a voice from the community who's respectful and thoughtful, then you're what I would call a responsible, civically engaged person.
Let's be the adults this time and put an adult into the council chambers.
|Nicole Craine for NY Times|
If you've ever wondered about the shipping container at the Caton Market (at Flatbush) don't miss this article on Shelley Vidia Worrell its founder and creator.
This is sort of heart breaking. An event of love and community spirit, and freedom from oppression, gets reduced to a bunch of blue uniforms, blinding lights and helicopters. We get it. You've got the firepower and the badges. But will all this stop some idiot from seeing red and trying to kill somebody? "You know I was going to grab that gun/knife and shoot/stab that motherfucker, but then I saw those bright lights and decided to give peace a chance." I don't know what to root for anymore. Safety, yeah, but this is ridiculous. Thx Kieran for the photos.
It's here! The Echo, America's greatest two or four page hyperlocal actually printed newspaper is out, just in time for the crucial election for City Council. That the incumbent has even a chance shows the power of incumbency...the guy hasn't a clue after 10 years, and a win by him is yet another eff you to the entire community. Get out the vote!
Is the Q wrong, or has Risbo been taking, like, forever to open? And in a quintillion years I never would have guessed that this stretch of Flatbush on the east side Parkside to Winthrop would sport not one but two bistro type spots. But by the look and sound of things, Risbo will have that casual sophistication typically reserved for 2000s Bushwick. Or 2010s Bed-Stuy. I hear Chef Boris will have plenty of French roto-chicken on the menu, but I'd wait til the grand opening, sometime before Halloween, to get a gander at the poultry menu. Get it? Gander. Poultry. Ah forget it. Happy to see he's opening soon so we can just get on with the raves or pans.
So, how much do you think it costs to build that thing at 2415 Church Ave btw Bedford and Rogers that the developer wants you to believe is in Lefferts? If you guessed $20 million, well, you must be in the trade, because I probably would have guessed way lower, like $5-10 million, because I don't know jack about the trade. You could say I'm not a jack of all trades, or rather I'm not a jack of the construction trade. I am however a jack of some other trades, like the blogging trade for instance. I've been plying this blogging trade for some town, while not plying the plywood trade, meaning I'm a jack of a couple trades that have nothing to do with building buildings or putting down flooring. I suppose you could say I'm a jack-of-few-trades, but I don't want to sell myself short - these days, very few of us can rise to the level of Charles Ingalls of Little House, who really was a jack-of-most-trades, though I'm pretty sure he wasn't a blogger. A logger, sure. Are there logger bloggers? Let me go check...here's a compendium of logging articles in Canada but that's more of an aggregator, as opposed to an aggravator, which this post most certainly is. We aggravators share many of the same traits as bloggers, though the subtle differences are known only to those who are jacks of those trades. And that's the fact Jack.
Don't miss this one, if you're interested in slowing down the speed of development outside the Historic District. Cute church too. Oh, and ever read articles by historian "Montrose Morris?" That's her nom de web. She's Suzanne Spellen, who's speaking, and don't no one know more about Brooklyn's architectural history.
Good man, good beard, good heart, terrific listener, lifelong resident, worked in the council, knows the issues, gets how government and politics work. Is he perfect? Is anyone? I say give him a shot - he's the Q's favorite candidate for Council and I don't think he'll let us down. As for the incumbent, if the vote splits and we get him back for another 4, kiss leadership and representation goodbye til Bill de Blasé is off to serve as Sanders' Housing Secretary. (If his health holds out...Bill's, not Bernie's, who'll be here til they remove his brain and put it in a young, hunky cadaver, sometime in the mid 1920s. There'll be a constitutional crises over whether Bernie is technically in his 80's or 20's, since you need to be old enough to be President, but Justice Barack Obama will cast the deciding vote in favor of splitting the age difference. Justice Hannity will write the dissenting opinion.)
Sure Brian will be on the Reform line in November, so he'll get a second chance. But it's hard to knock off a Democrat in this town. Unless, like Jesse Hamilton, you run as one then change parties. But that's another story...
Need more reason to vote for him? Check this out:
Need more? Check this one out with his fierce wife Stephanie wearing a fetching optical illusion.
Just vote for crying out loud. Oh, and I like Eric G. for D.A. - met him, seems sincere, and he was really into Ken Thompson's reforms - plus Ken didn't fire him when he took over from Hynes - a good sign I think.
In the other races just choose the women and people of color. You'll feel better about yourself, as if you're somehow striking back at the Bread Basket and Deep South and Big Sky Country and Rust Belt and everywhere else that prep-school redneck (orange-neck?) won the popular vote. Oh yeah, and the Republics of Texas and Northern Arizona. Geez that's a lot of places - and some of them are even in the U.S.A. God surely hasn't been blessing us much lately has she?
How does he do it? Are we living in some sort of upside-down inverse of reality where incompetence and ignorance puts Democracy to shame? Guess so. If the Orangeneck can do it...
Look, with three challengers to the 40th Council seat in the field it was going to be damn near impossible to beat him. But he basically lost the total votes 6 votes to 4. Think about that. No other incumbent comes even close to those kind of shitty numbers. Cumbo beat back a strong challenger with ease, for instance, and she has plenty of detractors (I do not count myself among them, btw, and I get pretty tired of the nonsensical insults hurled at her, but hey, dem's the games. I happen to think she may be too smart for politics, frankly. After this term, maybe she'll get the deserved turn at helming Spelman College she's always wanted.)
Brian Cunningham's on the ballot in November, on the Reform Line, his ace in the hole sensing this turn of events. Forget about Ross Perot and Pat Buchanan. Ralph Nader also ran as a Reform candidate. BC had the good sense not to run as a Republican. Um, it's not really their time right now.
Go get 'em slugger. But remember, there's something truly remarkably Forest Gump about this guy.